Happy Birthday, Clara Mae!

Dear Clara Mae,

Exactly one week after your due date, at 41 weeks, you were born into this world. We are so pleased you are here.

I started feeling contractions with you at about midnight on July 17, 2017. They were not very consistent until about 3:00am, when I could start timing them. Just like with your older sister, your daddy and I prayed and read scripture through each contraction. But this time was different - I was so tired, felt so unprepared, that Satan kept attacking me and making me doubt not just myself, but the Lord. I struggled all day, to be honest.

Throughout the morning, the contractions got stronger and closer together... until I took a nap. Then they tapered off. So daddy and I hopped in the car and went to get him a coffee. Nothing else to do!

On the way, I felt a contraction and, with nothing to do to get my mind off it, I just felt it. I felt what my body was doing to move you down the birth canal, how it was compressing against itself and you to shift you just a fraction more, just a little bit closer to being here. I started to breathe deeply, thinking the whole time, "Just breathe her down..." That mantra became a large part of the rest of my contractions!

After the coffee run, contractions picked back up again and we were getting so hopeful that you'd be here by mid-morning or mid-afternoon... until I took another nap - I'm telling you, Clara, I was so exhausted. Unfortunately, the nap caused the contractions to taper off AGAIN!

After the nap, I was feeling pretty discouraged. We had already endured about 16 hours of mostly back labor, and still, no baby. I decided to set my mind on the fact that you just weren't going to come today, that the contractions would end altogether.

We finally decided that at 6:00pm, we would just go to the hospital to see if I had made ANY progress at all... but between 5:00pm and 5:30pm, the contractions got so strong and were about 3-5 minutes apart. So we gathered our stuff, kissed Ruthie and Mimi goodbye, and headed out shortly after 5:30pm

Contractions slowed some on the way to the hospital, but we were ushered into triage where they determined me to be about 4.5 cm dilated and 70% effaced. They called Dr. Moss who said to admit me, and we made our way to room 105.

We had two nurses that night: Jan and Charly. And guess what - they were both believers! We got there right at shift change, so Jan took got us settled while we waited for Charly to get there. When Jan walked in the room, I had some Bible verses written on index cards laid out on the bed in front of me. Jan asked, "Are you studying?!" I said, "No... well, sort of!" She saw what I was reading and got so excited. She told us, "That's my world, too!" and went on to explain that her husband is a pastor and Charly's husband is on the worship team at the same church. Then Jan prayed with us - it was so special to know that she (and Charly!) were both believers and would be partnering with us in prayer throughout the labor and delivery.

Within the next couple hours, I progressed to 6 cm and 100% effaced... and was still exhausted, in a lot of pain, and doubting my body's ability to deliver you. Charlie suggested I get in the tub, so they started filling it up. Before I could hop in, Dr. Moss requested that I be hooked up to the monitors for a few minutes. Everything seemed just fine - you were so snug in there! - so after about 30 minutes, I was unhooked and settled in the tub.

The warm water felt so nice, Clara. It helped me relax and gave me and daddy some time to chat and pray through the contractions. Still, through each contraction, we were reading scripture, praying, and I was thinking, "Just breathe her down."

While in the tub, I could feel my body progressing quickly. I had one particularly strong contraction and didn't tell Daddy. Instead, I closed my eyes and repeated over and over in my mind, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast for he trusts in You" (Isaiah 26:3) while breathing deeply. The contraction lasted a couple minutes and, during that time, Charly walked in. When I opened my eyes again, she asked me, "Are you sleeping between contractions?" I told her, "That WAS a contraction." And Clara-bou, you should have seen her face. She was SHOCKED that I was that quiet and still during a contraction, with no pain medicine. She said, "I want to be like you when I grow up!"

Within about 20 minutes if being in the tub, I started feeling the urge to push. I told Charly and she said I'd probably have to get out in about 5 minutes, so that I don't deliver to baby in the water! So shortly after that, I crawled out of the tub and made my way back to the hospital bed.

I climbed in the bed and Dr. Moss came in. Charlie got everything set up for your delivery and Jan was there getting things ready for you. A contraction came and we had the following conversation:
Dr. Moss: "Do you want to push?"
Me: "YES!"
Dr. Moss: "So push!"
Me: "I can't!!"
Charly: "Yes, you can. We'll hold your legs if you'd like and I can count to ten."
Me: "Yes please!!"

So that's what they did. Charly and daddy each held a leg, Charly counted to ten, and I started pushing. I pushed three times and could feel your head crowning!! They commented on all your dark hair and Dr. Moss said, "Wow, she's right there. If you push one more time, she'll be here!" Charly asked if I wanted to feel your head and I said no - I was in the zone and didn't want to lose focus! The next contraction came, and you better believe I pushed with all my might!

Five pushes during that contraction and I felt your body slide from mine as you came into this world on July 17, 2017 at 10:49pm.

Immediately I started saying, "Oh, my baby! She's here!" Jan wiped you off real quick and they handed you right up to me. As soon as your umbilical cord stopped pulsing, daddy cut it. And I just kept exclaiming over how you were here and beautiful and your skin was perfectly colored and your hair was so dark and long and you were here!!

23 hours of labor, five minutes of pushing, countless Bible verses and prayer moments... and you were here. Finally on the outside. Safe and secure in my arms and, within minutes, nursing like a champion.

They finally got my placenta out and saw that your umbilical cord was attached to the side of it, rather than in the middle like is normal. No big deal, just made it more difficult for my body to expel. I didn't care. You were here!

After about an hour, they came back to weigh and measure you. At 20.5 inches long and 8 lbs even, you were the perfect size for a week-late baby. They cuddled you up in your blanket and daddy held you while I hopped in the shower.

It felt so nice to clean myself up and that long labor and short delivery! I put on those great granny-panties the hospital provides, along with all the accouterments that go along with post-delivery recovery. I tied on a fresh hospital gown and crawled into bed. Daddy and I spent the next couple hours staring at your perfect face, texting family members, and savoring our first moments with you.

Oh Clara Mae, we love you a million times over already. You are a light - I know the hospital staff saw the difference in our lives as we brought you into the world. And we pray, girly, that you will continue to be a light.

Love love love,
Mama