5 Days Old

Dear Ruthie,

Almost a week old! We had a visit with the lactation consultant today. She said you are nursing like a champ! So much so, in fact, that you've already gained three ounces since Monday. And after feeding you for half an hour or so, you were up to 7 lbs, 8 oz.! You passed your birth weight during our consultation, which makes me think that you will - for sure - be above your birth weight at our two-week appointment.

We snuck in a trip to Target after the appointment - we grabbed some coffee and pushed you around in your carseat in the stroller... then you got fussy! Daddy (in his Carhart coat and camouflage hat) carried you (in your floral-print covered carseat) out to the Jeep. It was so cute seeing him all manly carrying you, all girly, as if you are the most precious thing in the world. Which you are.

Your friends Thomas and Lesley came over to visit (and brought us some lattes - yum!). It was so fun chatting with them. You cried almost the whole time Lesley held you - until I took you and calmed you down. Then you slept the whole time Thomas held you!

Thomas and Lesley snuggling you.

We took more pictures of you with the Christmas tree...

You on the outside of mommy.

... of you by yourself...

Chilling on Daddy's lap, one arm up.

... and of you with us.

Family photo!

Mama's girl.

I want to remember all of it - how your eyes are gray, but seem to look blue or hazel sometimes. How your hair is lightening. How your double chin is appearing. How your ears are so perfect and tiny. How your nose is like a button. How your hairline is like your daddy's but your eyebrows are like mine. How you smile. I want to remember the smell of your head, how you like to have your hands by your face, and how you cuddle as far up under our chins as you can in order to feel our skin. I want to remember all these things, baby girl, knowing that they will change and disappear in an instant. I'm trying to embrace these moments - fleeting though they may be - and dwell in them richly. I want to study you - not just feed you from my body. I want to know you, not just know about you.

Your daddy and I have talked often about how Christmas has a whole new meaning this year. I can't imagine what God the Father felt, sending His one and only perfect Son into this world as a vulnerable baby, knowing the torture and victory that was awaiting Him at the end. I can't imagine sending you into the world like that. Then I think of Mary, riding a donkey into Bethlehem, probably having contractions along the way, then arriving to find there were no rooms available for them. I imagine her laboring in the stable, finally giving birth there, and Joseph catching baby Jesus, cutting the umbilical cord, and handing Him up to his sweet betrothed. I can feel their exhaustion, their elation, their joy, their fear at being responsible for this tiny life - precious and unique and wonderful. And the weight of knowing that their baby is so much more than a baby. Their baby is the Son of God, God made flesh, God with us. Hallelujah, Immanuel is here.

Thank you, Ruth, for already teaching us so much about life and Christmas. Thank you for being our December baby.

Love,
Mama