4 Weeks

Dear Baby Batts #2,

Oh, little one! I found out about you yesterday morning, secretly, in the bathroom in our new house. I had to sneak to take a home pregnancy test so that your dada didn’t find out, too… I wanted to surprise him.

And the test was positive. A second faint pink line appeared on the test within a couple minutes, confirming what I already suspected and quickening my heart.

A second baby!

Later that morning, I whispered in Ruth’s ear, “You’re going to be a big sister!” and she just looked at me. Soon she’ll see.

That night, your memaw and papa came over to babysit Ruthie while dada and I went on a date. I kept my lips sealed while we ate a giant sushi dinner, walked around Target, and bought presents for each other. Dada ordered us Starbucks drinks and we sat in their café to exchange presents.

Dada bought me a travel coffee mug and Legos. I bought your dada a water bottle, Legos, mints… and a “Father-To-Be” card. On the inside, I wrote “Surprise! Baby Batts #2 coming July 2017! Love, Melissa.”

And when dada read that, oh man. He was shocked. So so surprised. And he started smiling so big, baby! We. Are. Thrilled. We are becoming a family of four and that’s so fun to say.

Dada asked me, “Really? Are you really?” and I smiled, answering him, “Yes. I took a test this morning.” I showed him a picture of the second faint pink line and he grinned.

I asked him, “Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?” and he said a boy. Only the Lord knows right now, baby!

At this moment, we are in a critical and special place, where your developing body is so minute that anything could happy to halt your growth. I’m praying constantly that you are strong and healthy, that you are growing as you should. On October 31^st, I’m going to take another test; if it is positive, I’ll call the doctor to schedule my first appointment.

In the meantime, I’m taking vitamins. I’m dreaming. And I’m savoring these days with Ruthie. We can’t wait for you to join us, little one, but I want you to be big and healthy first!

All my love,

Mama

6 Months, 4 Weeks Old

Dear Ruthie,

At this point, you have five teeth. You are growing and growing and eating real food and playing independently and love to walk while we hold your hands. You scoot around on your tummy, love to get up on your knees and rock back and forth, and roll over in your bed when you don't want to sleep.

You make sounds allllll the time. You blow raspberries. You yell "MOOOOOOHM!!" when you want me sometimes. You say "Babababababa" and sometimes just move your lips without saying anything.

But now that we have moved into our new house (as of one week ago!), you aren't sleeping that great. For a few days, you slept in our bedroom at night because every time we tried to lay you down in your room, you screamed and fought it. You'd wake up at 1:30am crying inconsolably. You didn't want to take naps. So the other day, I just held you while you napped. We both lounged on our bed, cuddled up close, and rested.

I read this article today and thought of that quiet hour in our bedroom, the sun peeking through our new window, our soft blankets and pillows fluffed around us, your head resting on my chest. As you grow and learn to explore on your own more, I don't want to lose these moments forever.

So I'll carry them here, in my heart, and on the screen, hoping that one day we'll both look back and remember.

I love you more than you'll ever know.

Mama

5 Months, 2 Weeks

Dear Ruthie,

You are in the middle of some kind of big growth, that's for sure: fussy, not sleeping well, clingy... your daddy and I aren't sure exactly what's going on, but according to the book "Wonder Weeks", you are learning about relationships right now and that's pretty much turning your world upside down. You are realizing that mommy isn't always right there with you. And that can be a scary realization.

Two nights ago, we tried to put you down to sleep. You were okay at first, but when you realized you were in your pack-and-play, and no longer in our arms, you started to cry... a lot. Your daddy picked you up to comfort you but you kept crying, crying, crying. I finally went in, cradled you into my arms, and started to run my hand over your head and back... and within just a few minutes, you were sound asleep in my arms. You kept one hand wrapped around your daddy's fingers, as if you needed to know that the three of us were all together, right there with you. We laid you down and you slept for a couple hours before fussing and waking again.

So much has been going on, baby girl:

• We spent a long weekend in Seward (March 11 - 13) walking on the beach, exploring the Sea Life Center, relaxing in our rented apartment above the Sea Bean Café, drinking coffee, and really just enjoying being together as a family. You, my dear girl, LOVED the mirror in the bathroom, "swimming"  in the big claw-foot tub, and watching the sea lions at the Sea Life Center!
• We took an emergency trip to Alabama (April 17 - 23) when your Grandma Brenda passed. We were there for a week, enjoying the heat, seeing family, and celebrating Grandma Brenda's life.
• We spent a week in North Pole (April 30 - May 7) for a mission trip. And the Lord reminded me that YOU are my biggest (and smallest!) mission field right now.
• We hiked Albert Loop Trail in Eagle River (May 14) in the beautiful sunshine. You did great - I carried you in the back pack for part of the time and your daddy carried you in his arms, too. We told you all about the trees, mountains, rivers, and flowers we saw along the way... and it seemed like you were listening and watching, too!
• We are buying a house! We expect to close on June 23rd and can't wait for you to have your own bedroom.

You've been growing and changing, too:

• You have four teeth now (as of April 22)!
• You currently weigh about 13 lbs, 11 oz.
• You LOVE to stand up! We support you around the tummy or by holding your hands. You'll squat your legs then push yourself back up.
• You roll from front-to-back and vice versa with no problem.
• You can sit up all by yourself and like to watch us from your highchair sometimes.
• We gave you a taste of baby cereal (meh), some pineapple (yum!), and some banana (mixed results!). We're waiting until you turn 6 months to give you any more food because you've had bad diarrhea lately and we aren't sure if its because of the food.
• You love to laugh and smile and talk and sing! Sometimes you wake up really early and will screech - not out of frustration, fatigue, or boredom... I think it's just to hear yourself talk!
• You haven't said any official words yet, but it often sounds like you're saying "Hey!" to us. I like that.
• You're in size 2 diapers and 6-9 month clothes.
• You have a diaper rash that keeps returning (but the coconut oil seems to be helping clear it up!)
• You drink SO MUCH MILK during the day, I can't keep up with my work pumping! You're working your way through our freezer stash because you probably drink about 25 oz while I'm at work... plus nursing before work and in the evenings! You need to gain some weight (you dropped to the 20th percentile) so I don't mind... I just want to be able to keep up with your need!
• You sure LOVE your papa! You smile when you see him and love when he babysits you during the week.
• The other day, you went to the store with me and two dogs barked at you from the car parted next to us... and you didn't even flinch! I was so proud of you, you brave little girl!
• We saw your friend Addy on Saturday, after our hike in Eagle River. You wanted to talk to her and grab her face and give her kisses... but she wasn't too sure about you yet :) We'll get there.

I celebrate my first Mother's Day (with you on the outside) a few weeks ago (May 8). Your daddy got me a gift certificate for a pedicure and manicure (which I'm getting this weekend). And we went to the Musk Ox Farm with Memaw and Papa. That was fun - I think you liked seeing the big Musk Ox, especially when they came over near the fence to say hi to you!

Baby girl, life with you is never dull. Whether you are fussing through  most of the night or laughing through most of the day, you are good for us. You remind us to love selflessly, to rely on the Lord for His strength, and to take things one day at a time. Thank you.

Love love love,
Mama

2 Months & 1 Week

Dear Ruthie,

From where I sit in the living room, I can see across our apartment, through our bedroom door, and through the slats of your cradle to where you are sleeping fitfully on your tummy. The last couple days, you've been battling a cold. We were up with you every couple hours last night, changing diapers and cleaning out your nose. We held you as you cried, as snot dripped down your face and mingled with the bubbles you love to blow.

Your naps have been short today because after too long, you can't breathe well through your nose. Your coughs woke us up last night - but you slept through them - as you tried to ease the icky stuff stuck in there.

I hate that you are sick. I hate that I can't just take it away from you.

And I know that I'll feel that way often throughout your life: when you fall the first time you try to walk. When friends don't invite you along. When you have your first broken heart. When you fail at something or are teased or feel invisible. I'll want to take away all of that pain.

I can't. It's impossible.

But there is One who can. He alone knows all your pain, all your emotions, all your fears. He has endured them all... and so much more. I can't take away your pain, but He can. He can make all things good again.

Your daddy and I pray for you everyday to know Him. We pray that you follow Him, not turning to the right or to the left. We pray you desire to serve Him throughout your whole life.

You're sick right now - physically ill. But spiritually ill too, baby girl. You - even you - are a sinner in need of redemption. And the One to heal and redeem is so close!

Love,
Mama

2 Months & 1 Day

Dear Ruthie,

Today we had your two-month appointment. You weighed in at 10 lbs, 11 oz and 22.75 inches tall. You are in the 50th percentile for weight and head circumference and the 75th percentile for your height. The pediatrician said you'll likely be tall and lean. 

You had your shots today, too. We were nervous about how you'd take them... but when the time came, you took it like a champ! Your face got red but as soon as I picked you up, you stopped crying, nestled into my shoulder, and were good to go. We were so so proud.

We pumped your legs when we got home and gave you some baby Tylenol to help with the pain. You took a nap...

... then we went to the adult Valentine's Day party at church! You were so well-behaved: you napped for a while then were a happy baby the rest of the time. Ms. Betty was there taking pictures and you were certainly one of the most popular "props"! After we came home, you went right back to sleep in your cradle and slept most of the night.

Ruth, you are such a brave girl. You took your shots with no problem and faced the rest of the day with grace. Thank you for being so wonderful!

Love,

Mama